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Valentines SOS: How not to let DIY work ruin your relationships

January 31, 2020

Moving into a home with the one we love is one of the most significant milestones in our lives. There’s nothing quite like making a place your own, and as time goes on, we all look to put our own personal stamp on our properties. Whether you’re wanting to make simple changes like painting and decorating to change the colour scheme within the property or are instead looking to update your kitchen units, there are so many different things which can be changed around the home to add your own personal touch to your property.

For many couples, the prospect of making these changes may be exciting – albeit a little intimidating. In many cases, you may find yourself pondering over whether to take on the tasks yourself by carrying out some DIY work. We see it in all of the films; couples lovingly handing one another a drill or holding a ladder, while they play ‘house’ and carry out all of those tricky jobs in their property without a care in the world.

The reality tends to be a little uglier than this. DIY within the home often leads to bickering and disagreements. If something goes wrong and mistakes are made, this only tends to get worse. No matter how loved up you are, arguments can happen, and when they do, they’re no fun for anybody involved.

This Valentines Day, we have put together our guide to DIY and how you can prevent it from becoming a problem in your home.

Talk it through

It may seem like an obvious step, but it’s a common oversight. Talk to one another. Don’t just take it upon yourself to make changes to your home without consulting your partner. You both have to live in the property and so should both be satisfied with the work completed. Talk to each other and have open conversations about what it is you’d like to do within your home and make sure that you’re all on the same page before beginning any project.

1.) Make a plan

Sometimes just discussing things may not be enough. It’s essential that for any more significant tasks at hand that you’re putting together a well thought out plan of action. What do you need to buy? What is this going to cost? How long are you going to spend on the project? Which one of you will be undertaking which duty? How will you go about getting this done? These are just some of the things which you must take into consideration.

2.) Be open to compromise

It’s unlikely that you’re each going to want all of the same things. To get along, you must be willing to compromise. It’s also essential that not just one of you is making these compromises. You must be able to meet firmly in the middle and come to a fair compromise which satisfies you both.

3.) Listen to one another

It’s one thing to talk and another thing to listen. Hear your partner out. If they are disagreeing with you or saying that something won’t work, don’t just ignore this and continue blindly attempting to fix that wonky shelf to the wall. Take a step back, assess the situation and take the time to listen to them to understand where they are coming from.

4.) Don’t take on impossible tasks

Not only can it cause arguments, but it can also be dangerous to take on tasks which are beyond your skill set. By taking on tasks which are obviously far outside of your range of abilities, you are just setting yourself up for failure and stress. It can be far simpler, and often safer, to hire a professional in these circumstances.

arguments valentines day diy

5.) Avoid placing blame on one another.

As human beings, we are often very quick to place blame on one another. We are all guilty of it. It’s essential to take the time to consciously think about the situation and ensure that you aren’t just placing blame on your partner when something goes wrong to keep the blame away from yourself. Is it really their fault that the paint you chose together wasn’t quite right? Are they solely to blame for the shelf you’ve just put up being wonky? Or are you in fact just becoming agitated by the situation as a whole? The fact of the matter is, accidents happen and things don’t turn out perfectly every time. By embracing a more positive outlook on life, you are far more likely to avoid unnecessary arguments.

6.) Spend your time together and call a professional instead.

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Sometimes, we take on challenges that are far beyond our abilities. If the work you’d like done around the house is too complicated, or simply too stressful to consider, then it may be simpler to cut your losses and call in a professional. They will be able to get the job done, hassle-free; leaving yourself and your partner to enjoy your time together instead.

valentines day diy

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